OK, so we totally watch Dancing With the Stars. At first, we used the excuse that there is nothing else on TV on Mondays. But not only is that a lie, but then what would be our excuse for watching last season, when it aired on Tuesdays and there is plenty to watch?

That being said, the clothes are hideous to say the least. And to prove it, we are going to show you some examples, starting with our beloved Emmitt Smith, man of the smile that would melt Cruella DeVil:

Gold shoes? Really, Emmitt? Those are just plain wrong. The only thing uglier would be Chevy Chase's gifted white shoes from Vacation. You know the ones we are talking about, the ones that Pee Wee Herman tried to bring back into style but never succeeded. Yeah, those. Gag!

Sarah Evans was an awful dancer but this dress is worse. The only things that wings belong on are angel costumes, the Victoria's Secret runway, and maxi pads.

Give us a call when Vegas Showgirl chic comes into style. Or when the movie Showgirls stops being the butt of a lot of movie geek jokes. Whichever comes first.

In the 80s, my mom made me wear three (yes, three) pairs of overlapping legwarmers. Over our jeans. In the summer. She thought it was cute, but we were so traumatized that Edyta's legwarmers make us queasy. We have to flip during her dances. Luckily, her and John got eliminated two weeks ago, so no more channel surfing.

Oh, look! Somebody recycled Bjork's duck dress and gave it to Cheryl Burke. At least nothing is quite as hideous as that dress, but the costumers at DWTS sure do give the Icelandic princess a run for her embarrassing clothes money!